Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
