she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
