I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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