I wish i was in the wii world.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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