you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
