Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
