There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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