I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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