I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
