In the future we'll all be gay
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
