i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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