Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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