At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
