her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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