I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
