And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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