What did we do last night that was yellow?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
