"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
