So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
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I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
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I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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