after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
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he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
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Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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