You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
