You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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