and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
