Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you would pick up someone in the library
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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