The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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