I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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