the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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