This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
