So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize