My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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