Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
