had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
