You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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