She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
