did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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