Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize