he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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