I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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