I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
