Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
