i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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