youre lurking in front of me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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