Betty ford says i'm here all night
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
