You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
