return my video game
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
