ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize