Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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