god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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