I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
