The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
