where am i from again
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize