I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
