Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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