My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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