the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
