stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
