all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
