Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
