cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize