If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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