I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
