my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
