I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
