my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
