Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
