when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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