unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
