He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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